Lately everything I write is angry, venting rants. And while it does feel nice to let it all out I thought I would try something different.
The weather has taken a turn for the nice, and it's odd how suddenly I love my life. I have been able to go on long walks with Jameson in Keegan everyday since the weather had been nice. We take pictures of things that are weird, and we walk for hours in the beautiful weather. Some people get to do that on weekends (not me) but the fact that I get to sleep until 10 and get up and enjoy the beautiful weather "makes me, Amber Atkins proud to be an american," no scratch that just happy.
I also love my car in the early spring (or February?). When the weather is nice I can open my sunroof and listen to kevin devine with the windows all down. It's lovely. And my car is clean so I love it even more than normal right now. I know a lot of people love their cars, but I think I am one of few people (even fewer people with my income) that are close to owning their dream car. Nigel is my dream car. He is all I could ever really want. I can fit 3 sets of golf clubs in my trunk, or 2 car seats and a 40lb bag of dog food. I have non-leather heated seats. I get 20 miles per gallon in town, which would suck if I had just bought my car, although I think 20mpg still counts as good if its an SUV, but my car is 21 years old. He's perfect. Except not really. He's rusty and he needs new ball joints and lower control arms. But I think he'll make it. We'll replace each part slowly and carefully and then when his suspension isn't deteriorating anymore we can give him a shiny new paint job (maybe with glitter too) and he will be my dream car. So close....
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
continued again....
A week of nice weather (continued)....
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
a week of nice weather...
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Why my dog is a better person than you are.
I like to think that I am a passionate person. I care about many things very passionately; one of these things is sports. i love sports. I love watching them; I love playing them. And on this particular Superbowl Sunday I tried so hard to not care at all, because I was tired of being disappointed in things over which I have no control. So I really didn't care if the Packers beat the steelers of vice versa. I wanted to care, I did, but I wasn't going to invest too much energy into it.
Some might say that you can't be that rational about the things you are passionate about, because really how many of the things in this world do we really have a say in? Not that many. But I like to think when I buy organic shade grown coffee from Nicaragua I am helping support the economy of one of the poorest nations in central america. I like to think that by buying my books at Eagle Eye I am keeping some of my neighbors from loosing jobs, or even worse, maybe their house.
I feel passionately also, that people shouldn't eat meat. The idea of eating a dead rotting carcass is pretty disgusting to me and it's one I can't wrap my head around, and haven't been able to for the last 9 years of my life. Every time I smell wings at work, and think maybe those would taste good, but I look at the bones sticking out from the smothered meat and think those are bones of an animal, bones of a once living, breathing, thinking, feeling animal. It makes me not so hungry. I don't have to think about all the horrible practices of a factory farm to make me lose my appetite for meat; I just have to think of an animal, any animal and think "would I eat that?" But I still don't get how so many people can be so willing to ignore what is so obvious.
I know not everyone is horrified by the idea of eating an animal. People hunt, and they eat it and that makes sense...maybe...a little bit, but not to me. If I could chose to eat an apple or go kill a deer. I would always chose the apple. Even if those were my only two choices for the rest of my life. Every time I would chose the apple. People will argue that we are meant to eat meat, because we are human and we are at the top of the food chain. because we are smarter we should eat meat. But I think because we're smarter doesn't that mean we shouldn't eat meat? my dog can't make the connection that his food used to be a living animal. he sees a squirrel and he chases it but he doesn't really understand why. I don't chase a squirrel, I don't have that instinct. or his teeth/jaw for that matter. doesn't that mean I shouldn't be eating meat?
People are always telling me they are just stupid animals, that they don't matter. It is more important to have and taste bacon than to assume that a pig is actually a really intelligent animal, smarter than your three year old kid. But where are they getting this?
One night when I was walking my dog, Jameson, we heard the squeal of an animal, probably a dog being stepped on accidentally in front of a neighbors house, and we continued walking. My dog pulled so hard to go back to where we heard the noise, and for the next ten minutes once we arrived back home stood in the window looking out and howling. he stopped only when I took him back out and walked to the neighbors house. They were outside with a tiny new puppy. Jameson saw the puppy we had heard, and when he saw it was ok he was fine and walked back home with me and went to sleep.
If my dog can care that much about a puppy he's never met, how can people tell me that we are better than the animals we eat. Why are we so special that we get to decide which animals life is worth taking, based on taste? based on intelligence? My dog has a clearer moral conscience than michael pollan.
Some might say that you can't be that rational about the things you are passionate about, because really how many of the things in this world do we really have a say in? Not that many. But I like to think when I buy organic shade grown coffee from Nicaragua I am helping support the economy of one of the poorest nations in central america. I like to think that by buying my books at Eagle Eye I am keeping some of my neighbors from loosing jobs, or even worse, maybe their house.
I feel passionately also, that people shouldn't eat meat. The idea of eating a dead rotting carcass is pretty disgusting to me and it's one I can't wrap my head around, and haven't been able to for the last 9 years of my life. Every time I smell wings at work, and think maybe those would taste good, but I look at the bones sticking out from the smothered meat and think those are bones of an animal, bones of a once living, breathing, thinking, feeling animal. It makes me not so hungry. I don't have to think about all the horrible practices of a factory farm to make me lose my appetite for meat; I just have to think of an animal, any animal and think "would I eat that?" But I still don't get how so many people can be so willing to ignore what is so obvious.
I know not everyone is horrified by the idea of eating an animal. People hunt, and they eat it and that makes sense...maybe...a little bit, but not to me. If I could chose to eat an apple or go kill a deer. I would always chose the apple. Even if those were my only two choices for the rest of my life. Every time I would chose the apple. People will argue that we are meant to eat meat, because we are human and we are at the top of the food chain. because we are smarter we should eat meat. But I think because we're smarter doesn't that mean we shouldn't eat meat? my dog can't make the connection that his food used to be a living animal. he sees a squirrel and he chases it but he doesn't really understand why. I don't chase a squirrel, I don't have that instinct. or his teeth/jaw for that matter. doesn't that mean I shouldn't be eating meat?
People are always telling me they are just stupid animals, that they don't matter. It is more important to have and taste bacon than to assume that a pig is actually a really intelligent animal, smarter than your three year old kid. But where are they getting this?
One night when I was walking my dog, Jameson, we heard the squeal of an animal, probably a dog being stepped on accidentally in front of a neighbors house, and we continued walking. My dog pulled so hard to go back to where we heard the noise, and for the next ten minutes once we arrived back home stood in the window looking out and howling. he stopped only when I took him back out and walked to the neighbors house. They were outside with a tiny new puppy. Jameson saw the puppy we had heard, and when he saw it was ok he was fine and walked back home with me and went to sleep.
If my dog can care that much about a puppy he's never met, how can people tell me that we are better than the animals we eat. Why are we so special that we get to decide which animals life is worth taking, based on taste? based on intelligence? My dog has a clearer moral conscience than michael pollan.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Anything you can do I can do better.
I applied for a job today. I haven't done that in almost two years. I applied for lots of jobs when I graduated college. I got this itch like I was supposed to be a grown up. Wake up early in the morning, not get drunk on wednesday nights. It eventually went away. I realized I wasn't in any hurry to grow up. I love getting drunk on weekdays. The bars are emptier and the beer is cheaper. Who wants to be a grown up? Not me. I have two jobs, none of which is in any way "real." But I pay my bills. I get by. But lately....the itch is back.
My friends from high school have real jobs: as physical therapists or working in nuclear power plants. The friends that don't have real jobs are getting doctorate degrees. The kid I pick up from school everyday, his 5th grade teacher is two years younger than me. And my favorite person to work with on Saturday mornings, just quit waiting tables with me.....to get a "real" job. So I've got that itch again. I don't want to be a grown up. I want to write a novel and become rich. I want my boyfriend to create an iPhone app and become rich. I want grown up things like a house, and a yard. But I don't want the 9-5. It doesn't work. I don't fit in that box. But I applied for a job today because it made sense. I scratched the itch, and now I hope it goes away.
My friends from high school have real jobs: as physical therapists or working in nuclear power plants. The friends that don't have real jobs are getting doctorate degrees. The kid I pick up from school everyday, his 5th grade teacher is two years younger than me. And my favorite person to work with on Saturday mornings, just quit waiting tables with me.....to get a "real" job. So I've got that itch again. I don't want to be a grown up. I want to write a novel and become rich. I want my boyfriend to create an iPhone app and become rich. I want grown up things like a house, and a yard. But I don't want the 9-5. It doesn't work. I don't fit in that box. But I applied for a job today because it made sense. I scratched the itch, and now I hope it goes away.
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